Yoda Foot

We believe the scene in the first "Squatch Wars" went something like this...

Luke Squatchwalker: Look, I'm sure it's delicious. I just don't understand why we can't see Bigfoot now!

Yodafoot[cheerfully] Patience! For the Bigfoot Researcher it is time to eat as well. Eat. [Laughs] eat. Hot. Good food, hmm? Good, hmm?

Luke Squatchwalker: How far away is Bigfoot? Will it take us long to get there?

Yoda: Not far. Bigfoot not far. Patience. Soon you will be with him. Root leaf, I cook. Why wish you become Bigfoot Researcher?

Luke Squatchwalker: Well, mostly because of my father, I guess.

Yoda: Oh, father! Powerful Bigfoot Researcher was he. Powerful Bigfoot Researcher.

Luke Squatchwalker: Oh, come on! How could you know my father? You don't even know who I am. Oh, I don't even know what I'm doing here! We're wasting our time!

Yoda[sighs, looks upward] I cannot teach him. The boy has no patience.

Obi-Wan Squatchobi[voice emanates from nowhere] He will learn patience.

Yoda: Much anger in him, like his father.

Obi-Wan Squatchobi: Was I any different when you taught me?

Yoda: He is not ready!

Luke Squatchwalker: Yoda? I am ready! I— Ben, I can be a Bigfoot Researcher! Ben tell him I'm rea— [bangs his head on the low ceiling] Ow!

Yoda[to Luke] Ready are you? What know you of ready? For 800 years have I hid the Sasquatch. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained! A Bigfoot Researcher must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one, a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away to the future, the horizon. Never his mind on where he was [pokes Luke]. Hmm? What he was doing[paces around] Adventure. Heh! Excitement. A Bigfoot Researcher craves not these things. [turns to Luke and points with his walking stick] You are reckless!

Obi-Wan Squatchobi: So was I, if you remember.

Yoda[still looking at Luke] He is too old. Yes. Too old to begin the training.

Luke Squatchwalker: But I've learned so much.

Yoda[looking toward the sky] Will he finish what he begins?

Luke Squatchwalker: I won't fail you! I'm not afraid.

Yoda[grimly] Oh! You will be. You will be...


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